Another Week Closer

I made it through another week of work. That's one week closer to retirement. I know that it's sad that I am counting down with at least 4 years 11 months and 8 days to go, but I have to say that I am getting the fever real bad. There was a time when I enjoyed my job and didn't mind going to work, but things have changed so much in recent years and I think probably I have changed too.

The atmosphere at the prison is just miserable. It is not the inmates that cause most of the grief, although they certainly contribute. It is the contentious nature of the administration and the fact that they seem to take a certain enjoyment out of making things harder for us. You feel that you have to watch your back on two fronts. You have always had to be aware of the inmates, but now you have to worry that someone in charge is going to pounce on you too. I have to say that my attitude has gotten very poor where the job is concerned. I have given nearly 20 years of my life to this county and all I care about any more is how long til I can get out.

I'm sure my current state of mind has been encouraged in part by having to come back from my motorcycle trip with my brothers and walk back into the pit again. For that week I can honestly say that I did not think about the place at all. It was all about the riding and fellowship. I was just not ready to come back to work yet. Unfortunately not returning is not yet an option. I know that many would say, "If your that unhappy why not leave?", but the sad fact is, I am trapped. I am 50 years old with 20 years invested and I can't just walk away now. If I stick it out for the next almost 5 years I will be able to retire and hopefully not have to work. But, even if I do find that I need to work, I will have the pension so that I can take a job that I enjoy rather than one that pays for my lifestyle.

I don't hate my job altogether. I actually enjoy many of the people I work with and even some of the inmates. Some inmates can be very entertaining. The problem is, I don't like going to work any more. There was a time when it was exciting and I enjoyed the whole game of it, and a game it is. The problem now is that the rules keep changing, and many of the players keep switching sides. I suppose that age and cynicism is catching up with me. When you do this thing long enough, you lose that young optimism that kept you moving forward. Maybe the answer is a strategic use of the very generous number of vacation days to keep from getting to the burnout point. There is also good news on the horizon (at least I like to think it is good news). The Warden will be leaving sometime in the near future. This will mean a change in the way things are done. I of course do not know if that will be a change for the better or not (don't even get me started on the subject of Obama "change"), but I am at a point right now where any change in how things are run would be welcome.

Well, it is officially my weekend now, so I will let this go and get busy with the many tasks that I need to get done. The most important is fixing the condensation line that draws the water out of my air handler for the air conditioning here in the house.

Have a great day everyone. I hope you have A/C where ever you are as there are heat advisories up for this entire area.